Farewell to the Training Wheels

{Today’s crafty post has been pre-empted by long parental musings. Regular craftiness will resume momentarily.}

A few weekends ago, we took the training wheels off the youngest kidling’s bike and she’s utterly enamored with biking – crowing with delight as she zips down hills and taking the inevitable falls with equanimity. As I ride behind her, watching her sit tall in her little saddle with her legs joyfully pumping, I’ve made the bittersweet realization that it’s not only her bike that no longer has training wheels, but her life and, in a sense, my life too.

This is what I mean: The youngest kidling just finished up her last year of pre-school and will head off to Kindergarten in the fall. She’s had four wonderful years of learning how to share, listen, inquire, make friends and make messes. She’s excited to go on to the big adventure of elementary school and I hope she approaches the ups and downs of school with as much joyful crowing and equanimity as she does biking.

Extending the training wheels metaphor to myself took a little bit more emotional untangling. When formulating our plan to have and (more importantly) to raise children, Chris and I decided that I’d stay home with them until the youngest started school. And with the help of our supportive parents, we’ve been fortunate enough to make that happen. So for the past 7 years, I’ve been the primary care giver for our daughters (because of Chris’ very demanding work schedule, we can go ahead a put an added emphasis on “primary”).

While they are terrific kids and frequently hilarious companions, I must admit to sometimes feeling as if the kidlings are tethered to me like a set of training wheels – and you don’t have a lot of maneuverability or speed with training wheels. But with both of them going to school full-time in the fall, my return to a metaphorically two-wheeled life is on the near horizon, a thought that fills me with both joy and trepidation. I’m thrilled at the prospect of more time to myself, but I worry I haven’t done enough to prepare them for school and life. I’m also not quite sure what my life will look like when they go back to school. I have some very vague and some very definite plans for what I’d like to do, but I’m bound to feel pretty wobbly for a bit, readjusting to my two wheels.

And so I bid a fond and bittersweet farewell to the training wheels…and look forward to the wobbles to come.

Why My Dad Is Cool

Happy Father's Day!

In honor of my dad and my husband, I offer the following essay:

Why My Dad is Cool

1. His fertile imagination

My dad was always willing to tell my sister and me stories. We especially loved the on-going series of “Elfie and Elferina and the Ogre Who Could Not Count.” He also created a running cast of characters that would visit us, including “Mr. Figaro,” a strangely asian Norwegian man who would come and play the accordion at our birthday parties. The best, however, was “Percy the Pumpkin Man” who would visit our front porch every Halloween. My dad would rig up his old squirrel fur coat with gloves and fishing line and an archaic microphone system behind a pumpkin head. You had to chat with Percy before you could get any candy. Dad is a professional story-teller now, so lots of kids get to hear his stories.

2. His creativity

My dad is an amazing artist. Pictionary is an adventure with him because he likes to add shading to his drawings. He is also a master of the ditto, a sadly lost art. For those of you who remember dittos, my dad could do FOUR COLOR dittos!

3. His love of language

Dad just retired after 40 years as an English professor. He taught me about the nuance and intricacies of language for which I’ll always be grateful. He also tried his hardest to teach me to be a good speller, but, alas, spell-check is still my best friend. He’s one of the official judges for the National Spelling Bee, so he is on TV once a year! It’s a big deal at our house for the kidlings to watch for DoGoong (Chinese for maternal grandfather).

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Why My Husband Is Cool
(as dictated by my daughters and annotated by me)

1. Because he builds.

Some of the birthday attractions my husband and his friends have built:

a 13’ pirate ship
a castle with a dungeon, waterfall, bridge and climbing wall
a working carousel

Some of the things for Halloween my husband and and his crew have created:
A scary Hell-Tube
A huge aquarium scene with an 8’ jellyfish
Skeleton Theatre

2. Because he makes things sound scary and makes things sound nice

Chris is a composer and sound designer for theatre and is the Resident Sound Designer for the Seattle Children’s Theatre-absolutely perfect for the kidlings. They get see the sets getting built, meet the actors and see some darn fine theatre.

3. He has a studio

We and the above-mentioned crew built a recording studio in the basement. The kidlings love to go and play around with equipment and all the instruments down there. I particularly like the isolation booth because I can send them there and get a little peace and quiet.

4. He hugs

(Sniff!)

So I feel quite blessed to have 2 such remarkable men in my life. Happy Father’s Day, Daddy and Chris!

Me and my dad taking a nap

Musings on Motherhood

Happy Mother’s Day! As I’m getting ready to go out and celebrate the day, I’ve been pondering motherhood. Here’s what I’ve come up with:

Things I learned from my mother
(photo circa 1968)

-Crafting is a vital part of life.
My mom taught me to incorporate crafting into my everyday life. She is amazingly talented and in my lifetime has successfully mastered sewing, knitting, tolling, quilling, embroidery, crewel-work, line-drawing, rug hooking and quilting.

-Listen with attention and compassion.
As a kid I noticed that everybody wanted to talk to my mom because of her great capacity to truly listen and care about people.

-Aways take oranges when you visit someone for the first time.
Especially if they are Chinese. My mom worked diligently to teach my sister and me good manners. I don’t always behave properly, but that’s due to my failings and not my mother’s.

Things I’ve learned as a mother

-It’s true. The laundry is not going to do itself.

-Hugs and kisses from my daughters make inevitable stickiness worthwhile.

-Mothering has made me a better (albeit sometimes grumpier) person.

Things I hope to teach my children

-It’s better to be kind than nice.

-It’s better to be stylish than fashionable.

-That they are wonderful, special and incredibly important people. But not more so than anybody else.

I hope everybody has a lovely Mother's Day!